I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
