Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
