great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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