Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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