She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
