It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
