Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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