I want to stick my p in your. b.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
