I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
