My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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