My hair reeks of homosexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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