So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
