i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
