dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
