i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
