meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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