the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
