yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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