Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
