just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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