the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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