Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
