can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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