Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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