I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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