I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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