I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had sex on a roof
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
