He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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