My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
