we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize