dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize