i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
