I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
