I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
