Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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