i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
