i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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