i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
