when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize