So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
