I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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