Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
