You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
