Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
