"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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