ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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