I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
