Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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