if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
