I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize