I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
