no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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