Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize