9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
