She's JV to your varsity
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
