I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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