weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
