Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
